I would like to say that I haven't posted because I haven't had time..... and I really haven't had time to sit down and try to post. But, to be real honest, I haven't felt like I have anything to post, or to write home about, so to speak. It has been a topsy turvey week for me. Yes, I had Labor Day off, and it was a blur. But, the work week has been crammed because of that day off. Not to mention, we have had something every night this week. I really need to get a routine. I know that's how the beginning of school is and it just takes time.
Do you ever have a week when you can't think straight, you don't feel very good, not sure what is wrong, if there is even anything wrong, I am fearful, of what?I am edgy? Am I going crazy ? Well, if you don't ever feel this way consider yourself blessed!! When I feel this way, I am usually headed for a Pity Party. But, I know exactly where this is coming from...... from the king of all lies. Every time that I am doing something for the Lord, the liar shows up, and picks and pulls me in every direction to take my focus off of the Lord. I know this. This is nothing new to me. But, I still allow him to rob me of my joy, making me want to go home, crawl under the covers, and not come out until the storm passes. Then I make a CHOICE I CANNOT ALLOW HIM to do this to me. I try so hard, I pray, I listen to worship music, I try to be still....... so that I can get out of my "funk" as I call it.
I have turned to some of my SSMT verses to focus on God and allow HIM to pull me out of my funk. I realized how far behind I am in memorizing my verses and that I have been grumbling & complaining without telling God first. I usually listen to praise music on my way to work, but yesterday I decided I am going to take that 10-15 min drive down 40 to go over my verses. Each one has come with a story of how I chose it. Unfortunately, I hadn't ever given thought to writing those "stories" down. Now I wish I had started my blog so that I would remember where God had me when HE gave me HIS words HE wanted me to know. Anyway, when I got to " the Lord hath been mindful of us, He will bless us" Psalm 115:12a. I actually had written in my spiral " the Lord hath been mindful of us (ME!), He will bless us(ME!)"
BAM!! A light bulb went off..... He knows exactly how I feel, He knows my heart, He knows what is going on, HE hasn't forgotten me. And through all of this HE WILL BLESS ME!! I would like to say that in a split second my whole attitude changed and that my joy was fully restored, but not exactly. What I got was a HUGE reminder that HE is with me even when I am in my "funk" and there are times that I need to be right in the midst of my "funk" so that HE can remind me He is there for me. And Isaiah 43:2 reminds me that the waters will not overflow me.
He pours His grace out on me daily, I thank Him that His mercies are new every morning. I know there is a reason that I am in this situation and I thank Him that He will not leave me here! He loves me! HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!!!
Do you ever find it hard to be "real"?