Worship Wednesday - Never Once

Ever had one of those days that just seem to drag you down? How about weeks or maybe you have experienced months? One thing after another? Lately that has been the case in our family. I like roller coasters, but only the kind you get on, scream as you get the thrill and then BAM! Just that that the ride is over and you step off!. 

Well, I am not liking this ride at all. It seems something new and unexpected at each and every turn. Some days it seems as if I am barely hanging on. Other days, I seem to straighten myself out and go along with the ups and the downs. As long as I am hanging onto God's promises I am pretty steady. But those days that I take my eyes off of HIS WORD and put them on my circumstances.........

A big ol' MESS happens. I scream, I kick, I seriously WANT OFF THIS RIDE. 

And then it happens. Without a warning....the Holy Spirit reminds me  - 

"you know that you are not alone."

"God's got this."

"Trust in His Promises" 

I then turn to the Word that comforts me...

"Be strong and of a good courage"

"God is MY refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

"God is in the midst of ME, I shall not be moved, God will help me early in this trial" Psalm 45:5

 He loves me and He is with me.... He is not surprised by this. He will hold me with His right hand of righteousness. He alone is my portion. 

And a sweet peace stills my soul. I am reminded of His presence a few months back when we had a health scare with my sweet husband. During a gall bladder attack they found a cyst on his kidney. Once he had his gall bladder removed, we had to follow up with an MRI on his kidney. The results sent him to a Urologist which put us sort of in a panic. With a daughter and son-in-law being nurses, we found out way more than we needed to know. Oh, and you know the internet..... it is full of useful and SCARY, DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT, OVER THE TOP INFORMATION. When I got to the C word. I FROZE! I could not breathe!! So, do yourself a favor. Don't be a surfing doctor. It leads to even more worry, more what ifs.......during the 2 week wait to see the real doctor. 

I began to seek the Lord with all my might!! I immediately went to Psalm 46 sitting in that MRI waiting room. One of my go-tos in times of distress..... when I got to verse 5 it was as if it were lit up. "God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved, God will help her and that right early" Psalm 45:5

 I felt His peace and His presence at that moment. 

The days were long and some nights were even longer. When darkness begin to shadow over the situation, we went to His word to bring light back into it. Everyday God gave us verses to cling to. It was if we were hanging on for dear life. The appointment came and once again we had to wait over a weekend for the dr to consult with another dr. When B called me with the news that it was just a "blood-filled cyst" again I was frozen. I didn't know what to say. The presence of God was so real that I was just in awe of Him. All I could do was thank Him. Praise Him. 

That night, I was folding my umteenth load of laundry, and still praising Him with the radio on K-Love. This song came on a month of pure emotion, and praise began to fall from my eyes and my heart. 

 We got the kids together and we told them the good news, how our prayers had been answered. We shared a lot of things about how God works in our lives and how much He love us! How HE is always with us, even when we think maybe He isn't . We shared this song and immediately. Bub got his guitar and started learning it. Precious time for our family.

Last week my prayer list on Worship Wednesday - now some PRAISE for those requests

Please pray.....
B's test results - PRAISE THE LORD! He has a cyst on his kidneys that they are monitoring every 3 months. Results from a recent Ultrasound  - no change in cyst - THANK YOU LORD!! MRI in 3 months
Am's surgery - went well, she is recovering well. Still has some discomfort. Praying that this worked for her stomach problems.
My Brother & his family in Venezuela  -please continue to pray. This country needs the Lord and our prayers. God protect and provide.... as they share the news of Jesus with the lost.
Sis & school  - LOTS of prayers were answered last week. May GOD continue to show her who HE is
My mother - hurt her back during the snow a few weeks back. Slowly on the mend. 

and many other unspoken that the Lord knows all about.  God knows my heart about these situations and He will get GLORY for them.

On that roller coaster??  He is there

Barely hanging on?? He is there

Top of the mountain  - all is good?? He is there 

Ready to jump off?? He is there

Hang on  - God's got this!

Prayers for Venezuela

My brother and his family are missionaries in Venezuela. And for those of you that don't know there is much political unrest in that country. He keeps in contact thru email, facebook and a blog on occasion. He has been asking for prayers for several weeks. 

The Lord woke me up very early yesterday morning with my brother on my heart. I began to pray for him and his family. We know very little of what is going on there, but we know that it isn't good. I read an article and someone said, "we are a very rich country, but we cannot buy a kilo of flour". Those words pierced my heart as well as reading about attacks on the innocent. 

I cannot imagine what it is like there. In my selfish, fleshly mind, I am thinking that boy just needs to pack up and get back to the states. I even sent him a message on Facebook that we were praying, as well as letting him know that he needed to get home. I tend to worry....I know those of you that really know me.... are thinking "tend"??? more like constantly. My mind does head to the bad and I can allow the enemy to come in and turn me upside down! Its a constant battle, but that story is for another time.

Not fifteen minutes later, B brings me my phone and its my baby brother!! (Isn't technology great?? its not even long distance!!) After getting my message he had to share with me what happened...or yet what didn't happen because of God's hand of protection. Assuring me that they are right where God wants them to be. Sharing Christ's love is why they are there. They are in the midst of people that practice Catholicism as well as worshiping 8-9 other gods all at the same time. Head over now to The Venezuelan Voice to read God's Timing is Perfect, my sister-in-law shares what my brother shared with me on the phone.

What faith! What love the Father has shown them and to those around them that they have been ministering to since they moved there in September. He was praising God for His protection, how He showed up and showed the lost that HE is God. My brother has such a peace about being right where he is. He is there to share Christ, and that is exactly what he intends to do. There is no safer place than being in the center of God's will. God's protection, provision. guidance, love, etc is what got them to Venezuela. He mentioned that they have about 3 weeks of food left, but he knows that God will supply all their needs. 

As I hung up the phone, I was putting chicken in my crock-pot. My heart was heavy. How selfish I am. How blessed I am. I can open my freezer and my pantry, get out food, and if I don't have what I want or need. I go five minutes from my house to the grocery store. 

I feel so unworthy. 

My faith is weak.

BUT, my Heavenly Father loves me unconditionally, even in my selfish state of mind. The Lord reminded me He is in control and He has a plan. I just need to trust Him in all the situations going on on Venezuela, as well as what is going on in my family. And most of all, I need to love Him with all my heart, mind and soul. 

Want to know more about God's Love - head over to Raising Future Esthers and check out Deidre's month of devotions.

Pray for my brother and his precious family. Pray for God's protection... provision of food. 

Pray for Venezuela. 

Be a blessing to someone today!!

 

Thankful Thursday ~ A Reminder

For the past couple of weeks, I have been working on writing my testimony.

O.U.C.H.

I thought oh this will be easy, God has done so much in my life. Then I tried to think of where to begin..... Once upon a time a little girl was born to a loving mommy and daddy. 

And there it stopped. The fairy-tale ended. My parents divorced when I was 5. Lots of stuff came after that... (one day, if God leads me to, I will post the full version) I could not get over how hard it was to re-visit some hard places in my life. 

I thought of things that I haven't thought of in years. And some things that I know happened, I can't remember where or how they happened. Sad. Maybe my mind won't let me go there. Or my conscience has no intention of returning. 

Oh God had such a plan for me.... until I came along and decided to do things my way. NOT GOOD. 

Oh, but such a loving God that has a plan, one that took my mess-ups and turned them into good for HIS GLORY.

As hard as it was to write out, and re-live those tough places in my life. He reminded me of how he took each bad and made good from each one. Some, maybe I will never know the reason, but God will make good out of our bad. If only we will allow Him too.

Have you written you testimony out? If, for no one than yourself. Put down on paper to see your LOVE STORY. He loves us with an everlasting love. One that I, for the life of me cannot comprehend. But, I will accept and believe that His promises are true. He loves me and that is that!!

In all my wanderings, I was not unlike the Israelites....wandered in sin for a long time.....

I have to THANK HIM for being there no matter how far away I was. HE WAS THERE!!

And best of all He Never Gave Up On Me

I Can't Get Away....

No, I am not trying to escape....at ALL.

I can't get away from these words I read this morning....

"God will search the most horrible places for us. Not only will He save us from a life of sin, but He'll even wade through bitterness, pride, jealousy, anger and betrayal to rescue you!"

I was reading my friend Deidre's blog post for today. (If you haven't been following her February Month of Devotions - you should be!) And these words seem to echo in my head. It was if she was talking directly to me, reminding me of what the Lord had delivered me from, when I was in a deep pit, with only one thing to do, "Look Up" to HIM. 

He didn't have to search very far for me. Oh, He knew EXACTLY where I was. How I got there. How long I had been there. How far I would go. And then, I reached the end of ME. 

There I was, at the end of me, with no where to turn. I had tried to do it all on my own for years. My way. And I was nothing. Going nowhere fast. Useless. Unwanted. Terrified. Ugly. (just a few of my names at that time) Wallowing in self-pity. There was nowhere to look but up. And there HE WAS!! He lifted me out of that pit, and set me on a path to redemption, love, and grace. Once again HIS MERCY SAVED ME from that life of sin, sadness, brokenness, anger, unforgiveness, that I chose on my own, to love me and redeem me. 

I loved her post. It was so for me. A wonderful reminder of what God did for me. He loved me right where I was at that very moment. And He loves me right where I am today, right now. Even in the midst of trials and life. He will never leave me. He is always with me. 

Are you at a place, where you have no where to turn? Maybe you feel that you are not loved by a Holy God? The ONE true God? Oh, sure there are days I don't feel worthy of His love, and days I am just not enough. But, I do know this, HE DOES LOVE ME. He sent HIS Son to die for me. And that my friends, is more than enough! If you are at that place that you just don't know that God loves you..... join Raising Future Esthers  for the rest of this month as Deidre shares The Relentless, Transforming, Redeeming Love of God. (be sure to go back and read each day's post....you will not be disappointed!!)

And if you haven't read Hosea..... you really should. And if you want a good read that is  "A powerful retelling of the story of Gomer and Hosea," Redeeming Love is a life-changing story of God’s unconditional, redemptive, all-consuming love.

You Can Make A Difference

If you read this my post "I Hear an Echo" from the other day, this is sort of a continuation of that post. 

Yes, this is still echoing in my head, and my heart. I have been asking, "What is it Lord? Why does this continue to come up? I keep thinking, what is it that I am missing? How can I make a difference? It seems I am always, "doing something". So what is it. 

My husband and I have worked in Children's Ministry for a better part of 14 years. Over the years B has directed our children's summer camps and each year we meet with our counselors. One thing that I share with them year after year is the child that may drive you the craziest, is the one that needs you the most. We don't know what that child faces in his everyday life. Sad, but true. We hear, everyone is battling something. Well, children are no different. Except for the fact, they have a harder time fighting it. Another thing we share with our Ministry team is that we may never see the fruit of our labor, but there are those rare times that we see that we have made a difference in a child's life. Not all the children that have grown up in our ministry have stayed the course. Not all are faithful to the church or to God. But, there are others that you know "got it" as a young child, and we have seen them grow up physically and spiritually. Those rare ones that still seek the Lord are serving Him and walking with them. Oh, we would love to make a difference in ALL their lives, but that isn't always the case.

The Lord reminded me of how we make a difference in the here and now. We are not to worry about what happens tomorrow. We are to love those children, and to point them to Christ. Period. He will take care of the rest. He reminded me of this story.....

So, for now the answer to all my questions about, If not me, then who? If not now, then when?" is that I am to take each opportunity as it comes. Here I am wandering around, trying to figure out the BIG picture. It must be something BIG and GREAT that God is leading me to. But, for now that is not it at all. And that's ok. Because He is going to use me to make a difference, maybe not in the thousands., and certainly not to make this world a better place...but to make a difference for the here and now and to "make a difference for that one" that He placed before me.

We each have a purpose. God has ordained that. He chose us. In all this soul searching, I asked God to show me my purpose. He created me to praise Him. To glorify Him. Another answer came the other day when I made something my husband wanted. He said, "You take care of me don't ya?" As he hugged me, God nudged me...."there's your purpose".  I said, "Yes, I try, because, you are my purpose." Not only is my husband my purpose. But, my children as well. I tend to forget that they are my first ministry. So, you Mommas that think you don't have a purpose. God CHOSE you to be your child's mother. You... and He has a plan and a purpose for you in that. Everything else will flow from that ..... 

Do Something........anything 

Pray...send a card...call...encourage someone...support a ministry...volunteer...buy a pack of toilet paper, toothpaste, trash bags, etc and donate to a shelter...put someone else before yourself...God's word says to love one another....

so go.... love another...and

God will use you to make a difference! 

Flashback Friday

Oh my two days in a row.... no I am not on a roll, just had some thoughts with one of the pictures that I put into the birthday collage yesterday.

Some comments were made about this picture yesterday......and I was thinking about when, where, what about this picture...... well, I am older and sometimes my mind leaves me but I do remember several things about this picture.

1.  My wonderful hubby said I looked like I was 14-15 in this picture. Uh, no, I believe I was 26??  Maybe that's not right, because he looks like he might be 21?? Sweet baby face!
2. I am really short... and no, he isn't standing on anything.
3. Sweet girl smiling was & still is a Daddy's girl! 
4. We were headed to a concert to see Reba McIntyre. 
5. Yes, we all had on our Cowboy boots! 
6. We were at the Steakhouse where I worked  - that thermostat looks vintage! 
7. I think I was more excited than Am was!  
8. We were not married yet....
9.  That shirt is hideous..... what was I thinkin???
10.  I don't know who took a picture when I was in mid-sentence, I know I had to be talking!!
11.  My hair was dark then...with just the beginning of gray here & there. (Thank the Lord for Miss Clairol! )
12.  Looking back at this reminds me of how far the Lord has brought me and how much he has blessed me!

 Thank you Lord for your blessings on me!!

Happy Birthday!!

(Once again I have allowed months to go by without posting. This family scrapbook is going to have gaps..... but I didn't want today to get by without posting this...)

I met this sweet young mother, when she was 5 years old. Such a precious fun-loving Daddy's girl!! A couple years later I was blessed to marry her Daddy. One thing that I had in my heart for this little girl, was that I didn't want to treat her as I was treated by a couple of my step-mothers (yes, a couple). Being a step-parent isn't always easy, there is always another person to consider. I have the Lord to thank for giving me grace, forgiveness and love for the situation I was in. I knew before I married B, I would have to accept this situation as it was, for better or worse. It was not always easy, but I give HIM all the glory for working in my heart. When God gave me love for this child, it was for good... so I threw out the STEP a long time ago. She is my daughter. I don't think I could love her any more even if I had given birth to her.

(Me, my mother and my girls during a fun photo shoot in the Fall!)

http://pixbypaige.weebly.com

 

 

She has grown up to be a loving, caring, wife and a great mother. She is still fun-loving and so very giving to her family, but also as a nurse she has such compassion for others. I love you sweet girl!!

I wrote about her here in a Thankful post in 2011.

Thank you Lord for your many blessings!!!

Happy Birthday Honey!!

I want to wish my wonderful husband a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I thank God for you every day!! You are my best friend, love of my life, the best Dad, an awesome "Pop", and so much more!!! You mean the world to me!! I am so thankful that God created you and that He made you for me. I know that God worked in our hearts as we were growing up to bring us together and bless our lives together.

I love you more!!!!!! :)

 

Worship Wednesday - Need You Now

So thankful for a Savior that hears my cries for help, gives me strength to just keep breathing, holds me up, lifts my head and so much, so much more!

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  Isaiah 41:10

Oh What a Night :D

Mid- Fall back in 2013, we headed out for a night of fun to celebrate 21......

Lol!! Confused?? You have to sing the word with the tune from the song "Oh What a Night"!! I am sure most of you don't even know that song... it came out before I was born!! 

If you read my last post you will remember that my hubby & I were celebrating our 21st Anniversary!! We are not the most romantic people on the planet....nor are we spontaneous by any stretch of the imagination. We usually celebrate by going on a date. Which normally consists of going out to eat, then heading to Wal-*art on our way home. Exciting & romantic right?? Oh, we have gone out of town a couple times.... and I did plan a couple surprises along the 21 years, but we have had such a busy couple of months, going away seemed like more work than play. 

So, we planned to go out to eat. (I know some of you are like - BORING!!) Not really, not when I get to spend some one-on-one time with my man. You do remember we have 4 children, one which is married and 2 grandsons......? :) love them all to pieces but once in a while completing a conversation can be nice.

Our special friends asked us to go on a date with them earlier last week. She didn't realize it was our anniversary. We talked it over and it has been months since we have gotten together, just adults. We decided, sure!!

Then the problem of deciding where to go or what to do was at hand. Geez. They too are like us. Not very spontaneous. Well...... a pi*teresting  I went. 

Have you ever heard of a Food Crawl? Or Progressive Dinner?? Well, I had, sort of. Go to one place for appetizer, one for dinner, one for dessert, and then something afterwards. (Alright, people lets keep it clean!! This is a family blog!!) Soooo, L & I decided we would go for it.... with a twist. Each of us would choose a place we wanted to go for each part of the night. Then we would pick from an envelope where we would go.....at each stop.

When I first told B what we were going to do.... he looked at me like I was C.R.A.Z.Y. (I read his expression as WHY?) He warmed up a little once he tried to figure out his choices. I think it was the same with C, he thought L had really lost her mind. 

I have to apologize, because I really meant to take more pix.... but we were having way too much fun!! And eating WAY WAY too much food. (seriously, gluttony is a sin!!)

First Stop- Appetizers!!  We had Sis pick our first stop!

My hot date!!

Our pager #!!! We were celebrating 21 years!!

Fun with the BFFs

 

 

We had our server "pick" what was for supper!! 

 Next on the agenda  - dessert!! (really?? I am so full!!)

Oh my goodness.... and boy was the Apple Dumplin AWESOME!!

Picture from Cracker *arrel(the crunchiness is sinful!  

 

 

 

 

 

Bahhaaaaa

 By the time we got to the Afterwards, we realized it was late and going back to our house was the only choice that was open (with the exception of S*arbucks) and we def could not put another bite in our mouths!! 

What a fun night!! We laughed, we talked serious stuff, not so serious, (oh, I left out the part about the Questions game.....a fun game with interview, communication, interests questions). Somethings we learned about each other was TMI......

someone doesn't like to wear white underwear

someone likes a winter coat

someone doesn't like dogs (other than their own)

someone's spouse is most like the cartoon character Minnie Mouse and another is like Hank Hill

someone won't share her toothbrush

and some things.....well they don't need to be repeated! :)

We had so much fun, that we intend to do it again.......

Twenty-One Years!!

God gave me the wonderful gift of my awesome husband 21 years ago today! Last year I wrote this for our 20 years. Instead of re-writing all of that post...

I second it today!!

And I love him more today!

Thank you Lord for your blessings on me!

Worship Wednesday - Just Be Me

Oh Heavenly Father, I come to you today, the words of this song are exactly what I have been feeling yet have been unable to put to words. I am so thankful that even when the words won't come, you know the groaning of my heart. Lord, the main problem I see with the words is,  the word "I". I have been trying to do it all by myself, and I fail so many time to seek you in everything. I need to surrender it all to you and let You work in my life. I am tired, I am weary, and you are aware of my needs more than I. I am so thankful you love me, even in my mess. Lord, you know me, you know my heart, and I want you to help me,  just be me.....nothing more...... 

Thank you for your grace and your mercy that saved me! 

I Can Just Be Me   - Laura StoryI've been doing all that I can
To hold it all together
Piece by piece
I've been feeling like a failure
Trying to be braver
Than I could ever be
It's just not me

So be my healer
Be my comfort
Be my peace
‘Cause I can be broken
I can be needy
Lord, I need You now to be
Be my God
So I can just be me

I've been living like an orphan
Trying to belong here
But it's just not my home
I've been holding on so tightly
To all the things that I think
That satisfy my soul
But I'm letting go

So be my Father
My mighty Warrior
Be my King
‘Cause I can be scattered, frail, and shattered
Lord, I need You now to be
Be my God
So I can just be me

‘Cause I was lost in this dark world
Until I was finally found in you
So now I'm needing, desperately pleading
Oh Lord, be all to me

Be my Savior
Be my lifeline
Won't you be my everything
‘Cause I'm so tired of trying to be someone I was never meant to be
Be my God
Please be my God
Be my God
So I can just be me

Flashback Friday! 5 Years!!

Oh...sooo twice in one week.... still not catching up. I guess I am getting a  little sentimental in my old age!

HAPPY 5th ANNIVERSARY Am & M!!! 
October 18, 2008

You would just have to see this to believe it!! My handsome Hubby & Am do their version of  the Evolution of Dance!!  I just love love this picture of them! Makes my heart smile!

Thank you Lord for the blessing of family!

Worship Wednesday - Enough

Once again months have gone by without posting at all.... This post is in Worship & Praise to the Lord! Once I get off the roller coaster called October, maybe I will post again. And maybe we can talk about the word ENOUGH. 

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Ephesians 3:20

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

 Philippians 4:19

Focusing on the one that Loves me with an Everlasting LOVE!!! 

Friday Flashback!!

Yayy!! It's FRIDAY, and the SUN is shining!! And its supposed to be 64 today and in the 70s tomorrow!!! Thank you Lord!! Spring is coming slowly but surely!! Whoo Hoo!! Bub has a game today, and PRAISE the LORD I won't be sitting there bundled up with coats, blankets, gloves, etc! I am considering investing in a snowsuit to wear for the first month or so of baseball season! I didn't get a picture (because my hands were to cold) but Mr B, put his ski pants on in the 2nd inning!! He said, "Go ahead, laugh, but my legs are going to be warm." :) I love that silly man!! 

This picture cracks me up!! I know it probably doesn't do anything for you......... This is the PillagePeople, they were in our camp talent show last year ( I know, its not much of a flashback), and it just cracks me up whenever I think about it. They danced to the ChaCha Slide. If I can ever figure out how to put a video of it on here I will.  They were awesome.... AND THEY WON!!! 

I won't tell who they are .....but those that read my blog can reveal themselves in the comments!! 

Aww Me & my baby girl! She was 14 (I think?) in this pic! Where has time gone??

And its been 2 years since the pretty lady on the left got married! Happy Anniversary KTB!!

Have a great weekend!!

Thankful Thursday: Lots of Love!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Today supposedly is all about flowers, chocolate, mushy cards and lots of love.......

I can remember times when Valentine's rolled around with NO VALENTINE in sight. Depressing, huh?? For those of you that may feel that way today... STOP! RIGHT NOW!! Your Heavenly Father loves, loves you!! And His love is more than flowers, chocolate, and mushy cards!!! You can KNOW that this gift won't die like flowers or disappear like chocolate. And you can open His love letter to you EVERYDAY... and even have words of HIS love held in your heart. Hmmm... just thinking about that fills my heart with JOY!!! 

This LOVE is like NO OTHER!!! 

 Of course I have a wonderful God-given Valentine  - Mr. B!!!  And all the other gifts in my life! Just looking through these pictures fill my heart with love & JOY!!

Lots of love to my family!!!

Thank you Lord for the blessings in my life!!!

 May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace!!!